Welcome to the 81st Humormeister's Forum edition

These days when I listen, or read about the news, there is little news that is uplifting.

It is easy to get funneled into a downward spiral of despair. All the more reason for people to look at the bright side and realize all the good things we enjoy, freedom, peace, family, friends, education, jobs, vacations, abundance of food etc.

Funny quotes

A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad - Author Unknown

Humor/laughter quotes

Be cheerful, the path will be easier traveled, the load will be lighter, the shadow on heart and brain will lift sooner - Author unknown

The 1 Minute laugh

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything is numbered."

The second surgeon responds, Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything is color- coded."

The third surgeon says, "No I really think file clerks are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in, "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no spine, and the head and their ass are totally interchangeable."

Kids are funny!

A friend hosted a dinner party for family far and wide and everyone was encouraged to bring all their children as well.

All during the sit-down dinner one four-year old girl stared at the uncle sitting across from her.

The girl could hardly eat her food for staring.

The uncle checked his tie, felt his face for food crumbs, patted his hair in place, but nothing stopped her from staring at him.

He tried his best to just ignore her, but finally asked her, "Why are you staring at me?"

Everyone at the table had noticed her behavior and the table went quiet for her response.

The little girl said, "I just want to see you drink like a fish! ( be careful when talking about family members when small children are around )

Feature article

Put more fun into your life

Many of us don't give ourselves permission to have fun. You've all heard and probably used the expression TGIF - thank God it's Friday!

We live for the weekend. On the weekend, we take the kids to baseball, soccer, ballet etc., we clean, we scrub, and come Sunday evening it almost feels good to think of going back to work.

We should not defer fun to any particular day, or weekend. We should strive to make every day a 'fun' day. We need to train ourselves to enjoy life.

It's usually the small things that give us the most enjoyment e.g. seeing children playing happily, the smell of fresh mowed grass, the beauty of a bouquet of flowers, the phone call from an old friend....

We become what we think about most. If we think happy thoughts, we can be happy. Conversely, if we think negative and pessimistic thoughts, we will experience negative results.

Perfection is a killer in our pursuit of fun and happiness. For example - the beds must be made, because God help us if the Bed Inspectors came over and noticed that the bed wasn't perfectly made up. Lord only knows what would happen.

Give yourself a break, ease up on yourself, allow a little bit of disorganization from time to time. Break with the routine and don't put yourself in the same old rut day after day.Lighten up and live a little!

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"If you lose your zest for laughter - you lose your zest for life!"

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